I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
