Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
whose ass print is on the piano?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize