He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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