Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm always down for nudity.
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