I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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