I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
