do herpes really smell.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
