Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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