she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
