we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
