Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize