apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
