OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
