He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
