ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
