My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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