I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
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Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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