You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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