That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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