I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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