All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
