Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
