But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
do nipples grow back?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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