Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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