Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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