My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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