I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
