Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
