You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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