Need sex. Gaining weight.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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