Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
