It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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