apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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