Cold hands, warm shart.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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