I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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