i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
