If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
