i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.