My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
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ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?