next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.