Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Operation Purity has been aborted
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
