Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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