Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
dude. I can hear the air.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
