She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
