Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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