I hate your face
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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