i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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