Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
