She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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