My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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