Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
