Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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