I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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