He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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