I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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