Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
