I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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