Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
