I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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