Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
