i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's rum buckets o'clock
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
