I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
wow bdsm is so cute
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize