Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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