she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
